I always grew up as a ''Christian'', but if you asked me what that meant to me then I wouldn't have been able to tell you. I didn't understand the depth. I didn't fully comprehend who Jesus really was. I didn't know everything that comes with having a relationship with Christ, most likely because I wasn't truly walking in relationship with Him. 

I was complacent. I did not live out my faith. I chose to live for the world and not for Him and I thought going to church was all I needed to fix that.

During these past nine months, my life has been transformed. 

I know what a personal relationship with the Lord is. It is not religion. It is a two-way friendship. I also know that I am supposed to use this to bring heaven down to earth, right now. 

For me, my personal relationship with Christ has drastically changed the way I view Him. God is not a God who wants us to go to church and essentially "be good" so that we can get to heaven. He wants us to experience His fullness and goodness here on earth right now.

He sent the Holy Spirit to do that for us. The Spirit that is living, and dwelling inside of me. He is the one who loves me unconditionally continuously reminds me of that. He is the one who chases after me and brings me back when I run away. The one who speaks to me through the living, breathing word and reveals more of himself every time. The one who knows me better than anyone else. The one who guides me always. The one whose plan is so much greater and always succeeds. The one who speaks through me to others. The one who has the power to heal and break chains. The one SO much power when we actually let Him move. 

I know that our sole purpose of living is to be loved by the Father. I have learned what that looks like so I can love others fully out of a place fo being loved.

I have learned what it is like to live a life of surrender and laying it all down to walk for Him. I have seen everything that comes with that.

I have learned that He is the one who defines me. I get to listen to His truths and that is all that matters. Who He says I am is all that matters. 

Through my personal relationship with Christ, the Lord has brought so much freedom, so that I could experience more of Him without anything holding me back. Freedom from self-Harm and validation in boys. The more I ran after Him, the more my heart aligned with the Father's. I ran to these things to fill a void, but the only thing that could fully fill it was God. What he gives us is so much more than any of those things ever could. I believe that the Lord brings us this freedom so that we can bring it to others so that they too can experience the goodness of Him.

He doesn't put shame on us. That is not who he is. He comes, meets us right where we are at, and walks alongside of us. 

I have learned what the church is. It is not a building but rather God's people living on mission for Him. People who are building up and edifying each other for the kingdom. I want His people to come together as a unified church. Church is not enough because only He is enough. 

I have learned to point everything back to the Father.

I have learned to worship freely, and that worship can look different.

I have learned to give it all for the Kingdom. That's not just on a mission trip, but every day life. I have been the hands and feet of Jesus, and I don't want to stop. I want to live different. 

God is my maker, and I want to do my best everyday to imitate who he is. I want to bring heaven down to earth. I want people to experience freedom and all of the joy that comes with it.

I want people to experience the power of the Spirit. I want people to see Him move.  

I want the real thing 

If you asked me now what being a Christian meant to me, I could tell you, confidently. I am a Christ Follower. This means being in relationship with Him. Being loved by Him, and loving others. Aligning my heart to be like His and living as He would. Bringing people in so they can know the real thing as well. 

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